The Jewish new year has come and gone, so even if it's not yet 2025, I might as well give a little update here.
I've been... blissfully busy lately. Hell, tomorrow, I have a phone appointment. I've had plenty on my plate to keep my mind busy.
It hasn't stopped me from thinking of how things went with this year, of course. I know there's still November and December to get through, but I think enough of the year has passed now that I can officially comment on how it was in comparison to other years.
It's been... not the worst? But certainly not easy. In some ways, this year has been wonderful. In others, it has been... truly harrowing.
I'm at a point where I don't often think of my ex friends, and when I do, the feeling I get is more apathetic than anything else. Not sadness, not anger, not frustration, just... apathy. Of course I am still sad that things shook out the way they did, but, it is what it is. In hindsight, it's for the best, and their absence in my life has largely improved my mental wellbeing. I'm happy to just be on my own, with a handful of friends, instead of always trying and failing to justify my presence in a friend group that I outgrew.
I'm also finally brainstorming stories that I can tangibly create. Not to say my other stories are impossible to create, mind, but there is only so much I can do on my own. These ideas are ones that just require my writing and drawing. I should really find some time to upload what I have created so far here! I've just been so busy lately, it's been hard.
When I'm not working on those projects, I've been doing all I can to improve my life. My boyfriend and I have considerably cut down on excess spending and are now in the process of saving up as much as we can. We're also looking into officially, finally, getting me the disability support that I have been due. After living a life of constantly denying myself the help I need because I didn't need it "enough", it's so lovely to just let myself have the help I need. I still worry about being a leech, but... I'm doing my best!
Side note, I should really get back to uploading youtube videos again... this isn't related to the last point I just thought about it. lol
All in all, I still think 2023 was the worst year I've lived in recent times. 2024, while it comes with its own challenges, has been a lot kinder to me in general. I'm happy things are going well for me, in general. I still have a lot of worries but overall I'm happy, which is a huge leg up on last year!